Today is the third anniversary of our Mum's death. I looked up what gifts you give on a third anniversary - it is leather. I suppose that makes sense because we have had to get tougher skin over the last three years. Since our Mum left, she has been joined by two uncles - Nels and Bernie, an aunt - Margaret, grandmothers to 3 of her grandchildren - Clara and Vera, and all too early her son-in-law Greg. It is getting crowded at the after-life dinner table.
I had thought that today would be a difficult one but it has been one of gentle reflection. I decided to look at the past three years of what has happened with Mum's loving watching over.
Two grandchildren have graduated high school, one finding a vocation and the other university; two grandchildren have started high school, one challenging the educational and legal systems with everything he has, the other so busy with Air Cadets, Band and hockey he needs a roster of four family members as drivers.
Mum has watched the strengthening of careers of two other grandchildren - one as a very popular journalist, and another as a First Officer most recently navigating the world's largest cruise ship, who is also engaged to be married. Her eldest grandson has continued his deep soul searching and has now heard the calling of being a paramedic. In her own children she has seen her eldest lose her husband, and her youngest find real happiness in a common-law relationship.
Mum has watched her husband shift his care-giving from her to being a vital connector of our family - always on the go - an enthusiastic fan at hockey games, marches and band performances, visiting his out-of-town children every season and being there for all his children while they work through life's challenges - often with surprising compassionate advice. At 88 he has taken up painting and has become very good very quickly.
And so - as we acknowledge Mum's transition from being a physical presence to being a spiritual one three years ago, I know she is smiling. When I checked in with her today, I immediately got the feeling of what it was like at Christmas time when my sister and I were 6 or 7 and we were waiting for our crazy relatives to arrive. It was a time of great anticipation, home artwork all over the walls celebrating the season, and lots of music. The air was full of joy of being together as well as hope for that special gift. I could feel her telling me that life is so much more meaningful when we live our lives from that place. Our Mum is so wise - as our darling brother said on the day of her death - she has taught us well. There isn't a day go by when I don't talk to her and some days I crave her hand to hold, but I know she lives on - in us, around us, through us - here's to you Dear Octopus.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
This is such a testament to the last three years. I felt every word. I experienced the memories connected with each person and the membrane of Mummy that ran through.
You are such a holder of the family trust. Thanks Hil
Thank you Hil for such a heartfelt tribute to Mum. I feel her with me so many times during the day, and I wish I had her wisdom in helping you all with your problems. Papa.
Post a Comment